Hati ini masih keliru...

Sampai hari ini aku masih keliru...keliru dengan apa yang berlaku..bukan kerana salah kamu..tapi..kerana aku sendiri yang tidak mampu melupakan mu..apatah lagi dalam keadaan aku merinduimu..Engkau akan hadir..masih adakah cinta dihati mu?atau akukah yang terlalu memikirkan dan berharap..namun..aku tahu sampai ketika ini..sayang aku pada dirimu tidak pernah berkurang..apa yang mampu aku lakukan adalah berserah..dan sentiasa mendoakan mu..tatkala aku rindu pada mu yang amat sangat..aku lebih rela menangis ditikar sejadah dengan bertemankan Nya disisi,, Ya Allah..sesungguhnya..aku letih..namun aku takkan mengecewakanMu..aku tahu Engkau ingin melihat aku kuat..bagaimana aku harus melupakannya..melihatnya sahaja membuatkan hati aku sayang..mendengar suaranya membuatkan aku tenang..adakah diluar sana..ada wanita lain lebih memerlukan dia??pelbagai persoalan yang menerjah ke kepala aku..namun satu pun tiada berjawab..benar kata teman-temanku..kehadiranmu seketika membuatkan aku berharap..dan terus berharap..bagaimana aku harus melepaskan mu..kerana aku tidak pernah membencimu..bagaimana aku harus membenci mu..kerana kau tidak pernah menyakiti aku..walaupun dengan hal yang teramat mengecewakan aku..terdapat sejuta kebaikan yang kau tunjukkan kepada aku..terima kasih..aku sentiasa berharap..kamu berjaya..dalam hidup mu..walau pun mengakhirannya engkau bukanlah milik aku..aku akn tetap berusaha sehingga..aku tahu..ape yang sedang berlaku..dan apakah jawapannya..

Dalam Mihrab Cinta~~~

demi cinta ku pergitinggalkanmu relakanmuuntuk cinta tak pernahku sesali saat iniku alami ku lewati
reff:suatu saat ku kan kembalisungguh sebelum aku matidalam mihrab cinta ku berdoa semoga
suatu hari kau kan mengertisiapa yang paling mencintaidalam mihrab cinta ku berdoa padaNya
karena cinta ku ikhlaskansegalanya kepadanyauntuk cinta tak pernahku sesali saat iniku alami ku lewati
repeat reff [2x]
suatu saat ku kan kembalisungguh sebelum aku matidalam mihrab cinta ku berdoa semoga
suatu hari kau kan mengertisiapa yang paling mencintaidalam mihrab cinta ku berdoa padaNya semoga semoga

p/s: jika ia sebuah CINTA ia tidak memaksa...namun sentiaa BERUSAHA..

An Unsend Letter

This is a letter.. I wrote to someone that should know all content inside but never send to him...

Dear You,

Its about 4 weeks ago we ended the relationships.. sometimes i juz thinking where am I wrong..if i fix that..can u take me back?? because I not really know what's the reasons was..so..I choose to explain everything in this letter..

First I'm so sorry for not replying your text..its not because of I dont love you anymore..but..because i love your more than before..Love doesnt need explaination..I swear not even one second your are out of my mind..every morning I juz thinking that I want to call you..wake u up..like before..but now..I know who I am..i dont wanna bother your morning mood..If i am nobody to you..and i dont even wanna become a problem to you.. :)

Lets go back through the days we had messed up..Maybe I still remember it or slightly remember.. One that day..I got a text that I need to move out from my apartment..because the head of housemate wanna go out..So I was so stress..I ask her to let me stay..and I myself will handle with the owner..but..she wont allow me..I feel a problems when i suddenly need to move out..coz i already feel comfortable here..And that day..U r so buzy..u wont text me even at once..I was so depressed..I wanna tell you..But jus thinking U go back home at 11.00pm ...and you are so tired..and i bother you with my problems..I dont wanna do that..I know you are tired..

But I still messed up with my problems..and its become so stress when I juz get to know..both of them..have a plan to expel me from the house..On that time I was so sad..Sad because of they stabbed me from my back..I trust them as a friend.. I something wrong with me,,,they can tell me directly..but this is I get after I do all good deeds to them.?? I know..I wont ask for repay for my deeds..but..why you do this to me..and I think because of I was so sad..stress..and i have no one to talk to..with my mood swings because of menstrual time..remember that night??

After I say..I wont sacrifice anything for anybody..after this what I do is behalf on my God only..you ask me..who the one you means about?its that me? No.I reply nope.nobody.not you...if i not mistaken..after this..you start being far and different towards me..either you feel my says is towards you or anything else that i dont know..

If you think that Im say this to you and you are wrong..totally wrong..why you dont ask for explaination?everytime i feel bad..i ask for explaination..even at we broke up right..because the only things can make someone understand is explaination..not an assumption..assumption juz make things worst..so i guess your assumption is totally wrong..if you do it..

Okay..I know Im not perfect..i always..get angry and moody..and i will say u are not appreciate what I give too many times..but dont you think it just when I get angry then i will say that..If not..i wont..rite?? Nobody perfect..even you r not at all..but..I juz wanna tell this..why..you wont advises to change my habit..my bad habit..its okay for me..u dont want to control me..even you know it rite..then at the end..you just let me go...u are not perfect either..many things that you do..that make me angry..but.. i never let you go..why???i dont need anybody perfect coz i wont find it..never..find anybody perfect..but..its not easy..to find someone that completely make me feel perfect..beside him..but im sure u can find perfect person for you..

This is the only thing i want you to know..because..this is the things i wont have time to explain..and u wont ask..u the only one who have no time to ask for explaination..if this is the reason of our breakup..then..i think its shouldnt be like this..if my attitude goes wrong..why wont your ask me to behave..its not..about 6 month we get to know each other.its 6 years..

But if you cannot accept me..for what and who I am..i have no more explaination...

A Girl, A Teacher and A Game...

This time entry I juz wanna tell a story about reality life of a girl..a teacher..and a game..

There is a girl..who had learn in a school..she met a lot of teacher in her life..all the teachers give her lot things to learn..that make her self stronger and matured..learn about life..reality and many things.. but..when she steps into a college..she found another teachers to teach her new things..on that time she was so plain..nothing to worry about..what she actually learn is just, she and herself..friendship..and a little bit..problems to solve..with this all experiences she built her self tougher and tougher..the plain was a little bit slowly colored with new life pattern..and one day..she found a teacher..a teacher that she never knew that will change her life forever..

That girl never thinking of finding that teacher..its fate...and suddenly..happen..
day by day..she feel so comfortable with that teacher..she juz go with the flow..all things that the girl do..will be supported by her teacher..the teacher give her happiness.. strength..motivation..and whole complete life..without knowing that teacher is sending for her is juz for a game that she need to faced at the end....she didnt know..that shes in a game..a very big game....

Month by month..years..by years..that girl..is juz feel happy with her life..she did not even notice that..she already forget to stand by herself..to color her life by her own..she juz..depend her whole life to the teacher..even shes fly without using her wings..but by laying on her teacher's wings..she feel life is so wonderful by her teacher on her side..there's no problems cannot be solve..

Here and there..they all doing all things together..not even a second the teacher left that girl alone...not even a second..that's the reason why the girl..is forget all things right now...when she met with the teacher..she only try to learn what life is... and before she complete learnt it by herself..the teachers come and stay beside her..

Unfortunately, that girl was falling for the teacher after too many years being together..she now cannot live without her teacher..because all things was depend on her teacher..all things before she met with the teacher already forgotten because of too many years..never care about it..and never thinking that she was in a game..the teacher just make she live in a fantasy..dreaming..believes..all things is always good and the sun always bright...

No...no..no..then the times is coming..the teacher already finished the contract to teach that girl...after the teacher is gone..now its time to that girl seat for a game and play...either she win or lose and game will over..

One day..she was told by her teacher..that's the time..she will face the game alone without her teacher..how could her?? She don't even know how to spread her wings..and now how she gonna fly and start the battle..she stuck..dont know how to face the game alone..

Everyday she cry..and cry..and cry..asking God for return back her teacher..but..if the God return back her teacher..would she learn this time? Nope..so..she keep crying..crying..where's the teacher? where's the teacher go? the teacher already disappeared without care..what gonna happen next..now..the girl left alone..

The battle now started..not matter she's ready or not...all her friends give lots of tips and motivation..so she could win the games..but..its doesnt work..she still hope that her teacher coming back..for her..and face the battle together..even..it is impossible..the teacher is just a fantasy..its her fault because forget all things can be happen one day..even..her family was there..give all their strength..to her..but still doesnt work.. for that girl..she still hope this reality is just a nightmare..but actually the fantasy is the nightmare one..

This is not the teachers fault...because..he just sending by God to teach the girl...but unfortunately..the girl was falling in love with him...for 6 years...then the teacher open up his secret..where..he actually cannot get along with her anymore...the time is coming..that is the truth..then the teacher need to say some reason..the best reasons that he choose just to not hurting the girl feelings..

Anyhow the reasons still make the girl wondering..why..after she have a thousand of reason to let him go..she just keep it inside..because with just one greater reason can eliminate all the thousand reasons..but..because of one reason he can eliminate her..from his life...this will never be answered..

Now..with heart like storming..feelings like acid rain..she try her best..with all her strength..just a little left..and walk..try to live her own..without any teacher anymore..Afraid of trusting..falling into...fantasy..and everything..why wont she?because..for many years..she learn not to see problems in problems with him..everything gonna be alright..sooner or later..

Its so hard for her..because..everyday..she always eliminate the bad things about the teacher..until..she can accept and see the best in him only..how..she gonna..forget..even hating him is impossible...and everyday..she hope..that one day her teacher is come back but into the reality..to keep his promise..There's something we call HOPE if we keep TRYING..AND the GAMES is still running..but either..WIN or LOSE we wont know yet..coz..the game is not OVER yet..

#p/s: God, if he the best creation for me..please give him back to me when the time is rite...if he wont...please make him happy with the best girl..coz..i know U know..I cant even see his tears fall down..i will love him..as long as U allow me to love him..even..U make he stop loving me anymore..then..I can tell the ending of the story..either the GAMES is WIN or LOSE.

If I LOSE just give me YOUR STRENGTH a little bit..If I WIN..THANKS God..

New Year Resolution~~~2014 (loss weight-calorie intake entri)

ok...sambungan kepada bmi..lepas korang dah tahu kan...bmi korang berapa..korang boleh mulakan..kira calorie intake korang..aku gune website nie..sbb sng n mudah... die trus arrange kite punye nilai kalori sehari.. http://www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm

nie aku masukkan data aku..then tekan calculate..

kenapa xde exercise..???sbb mmg aku x exercise pon..die beza taw calori intake..ade pengiraan secara manual..tp nnti aku tunjukkan...little tue means cam ko naik turun tgga..g pejabat..means ade pergerakkan tapi sikit..so leh gak assume as xder langsung..

bawah nie die punye result..

ade 3 cara..maintain..loss weight..n extreme loss weight..

kalu korang da kurus..nak maintain berat..korang leh mkn ikot nilai kcal maintainance..kalu nak fat loss slow n steady..gune nilai tengah..kalu nak extreme fat loss..gune nilai belah kanan...so..aku sure mostly org nak cepat2 turun berat..tapi korang nyer taget..kurus utk selamanya kan...so aku rase..korang leh choose yang tengah...slow n steady..bile da capai tahap berat korang nak..korang kena ubah balik nilai..kira r...balik..montah by month kena kire jugak balik..every week actually sbb berat korang berubah every week kan...1 week loss 1kg..

nie cara manual..version kevin zahri..ade bnyak kat blog lain..tapi aku tulis aku nyer jela..

1st skali korang kena kire nie..

Wanita : 655 + (9.6 x berat dalam kg) + (1.8 x tinggi dalam cm ) – (4.7 x umur dalam tahun)

Lelaki : 66 + (13.7 X BERAT dlm kg) + (5 x tinggi dlm cm) – (6.8 x umur dalam tahun )

contohnye aku punye pengiraan k..

= 655 + (9.6 x 62.6) + (1.8 x 150) - (4.7 x 25)

= 655 + 600.96 +  270 -  117.5

= 1408.5 kcal/day

tapi nie kalu korang pegun..or koma..xpela...so disebabkan korang ade jgk bergerak...korang kena buat lagi 1 pengiraan..

nilai kalori tadi..korang kena darab dengan tahap korang punye aktiviti..

 Sedentary (1.2)

• At work - you work in an office
• At home - you're usually sitting, reading, typing or working at a computer
• Exercise - you don't exercise regularly

Light Activity (1.3)

• At work - you walk a lot
• At home - you keep yourself busy and move a lot
• Exercise - you participate in light exercise or take long walks

Moderate Activity (1.5)

• At work - you are very active much of the day
• At home - you rarely sit and do heavy housework or gardening
• Exercise - you exercise several times a week and push yourself pretty hard

Very Active (1.9)

• At work - you hold a labor-intensive job such as construction worker or bicycle messenger
• At home - you are very active with heavy lifting and other rigorous activities
• Exercise - you participate in physical sports such as jogging or mountain-biking each day

so..sambung pengiraan aku punye tahap kecergasan..

= 1408.5  X 1.2

= 1690.2 kcal/day -----> nie nilai yang aku perlu makan setiap hari..utk..MAINTAIN berat aku..

senang cakap..kalu aku mkn lebey dari nilai tue..aku akan gemok...kalu kurang aku akan kurus.. gemok tue..bukan nampak sehari..wlapon sehari korang ambik lebih sikit jer..naik berat sebanyak 0.033 kg jer pon sehari..sebulan da sekilo kot...so..jgn mkn lebey...

ok..seminggu untok turon sekilo...kite kene reduce kalori..sebnyak..7700 kcal..atau sehari bersamaan 1100kcal...                                

lets calculate again..

= 1690.2 - 1100

= 590.2 kcal/day ---> nie mmg korang akan kurus...TAPI!!! korang nak mkn ape..dengan kalori sebnyak nie??? then manusia xleh ambik kurang dari 1000kcal per day..elok2 nak diet kang..nnti masok hospital..seksa badan jugak..

so...the right way is.. 

1100 / 2 = 550 + 550 kcal

550 kcal --->  reduce from calorie intake..

550 kcal ---> burn from exercise...

so..nilai yang sebenar..ade lah...

= 1690.2 - 550

= 1140 kcal/day ( nie aku genapkan..coz aku bnci decimals point ) 

nilai nie..korang xleh lebeh..kalu lebeh..out la korang..then kene excersice..sebanyak 550 kcal sehari utk kurus.. lagi bnyak korang exercise..lagi cepat korang turon..

korang nak mkn ape mkn la..kfc..mc-d atau pape jela..tapi jgn lebeh..dari nilai..kalori korang..SEHARI!!! tapi stelah aku wat cam beberapa reseach dari kwn aku kan..aku dapat tahu..

1- fast food 3 bulan sekali sahaja

2- chocolate cadbury or pape jer 1 month only..sekadar  mkn..bukan melantak..

3- no more air manis2 sirap ke..sunquick ker..teh ais ker...juz...air masak..everyday..

4- DISIPLIN mesti mau tinggi beb..yang nie paling payah..tapi xpe..aku ada tips..

5- carbohydrate..sekali intake..nasi ke..mee ke..sebesar kepalan tangan korang shaja..

tapi..kite leh gak ade cheat day..dalam seminggu..means dat...decide la..hari sabtu or hari pape jer..korang nak mkn secret recipe..mkn jela..tapi cukup 1 slice..kalori korang akan jadi lebih sikit..then nnti korang conter la balik..

so..untuk entri nie..panjang lebar aku cakap..juz nak bgtahu jer..yang aku punye daily kalori kene ambik 1140 kcal/day nett!!!!

New Year Resolution~~2014 (loss weight plan-bmi entri)

Assalamualaikum..selamat pagi dan salam sejahtera..

Aish..sebenarnye xder ape yg intresting pon nak tulis...n aku x rase pon ape aku tulis nie..ade org baca...hihihi..this blog like my diary la...konon la..huhhuhu...

ha....kali nie nak share pasal azam tahun baru..tiap2 tahun..kite selalu jer buat azam tahun baru..tp by the end of the year..pergghh..out of 10..5 belum tentu sempurna...hahahaha..boss aku ckp..ape yg kite azam kan..kite kena tulis..sbb kite akan tgk benda tue hari2..maybe not this year..but..one day..kite akan laksanakan jugak...ade btul jugak boss aku nie..tapi ade jugak yg terus give up..depends atas somebody la..u mudah give up..or u try before u give up...

ok..habis dah mukadimah..pagi2 bute new year nie...aku xkemana2 la..coz mls nak g jalan2..ngan kwn pon xtaw kemana...ngan jalan pon aku xtaw...so duduk jela dlm "gua" aku nie..ok dah..dah...masuk topik aku..
tahun nie kan..aku punye new year resolution..adelah......

1-aku nak kurus..
2-aku nak cantik...(--> yg nie semua pempuan nak k!!!)
3-aku nak kaya..(xder specific cara lagi stakat nie..)

so..aku nak story sikit..cmne aku nak kurus nie...pertama skali..aku..tanamkan dalam diri aku..aku nak..so...aku kne buat..n dptkan ape yg aku nak..thats motivation utk diri sendiri..without motivation u cannot go anywhere dude...so..aku mesti buat!!!

next aku online..cari cara terbaik...dimana aku boleh mkn..ape yg aku nak..tp boleh kurus..so..aku jumpe 1 cara.. #kevin zahri punye diet plan..5kg hilang dlm masa 5minggu...nie die punye cara...adalah dengan bilang n kire u all punye kalori...aku mls nak tulis formula die yg bnyak tue kat sini..tp korang leh gak..terus search kat dunia google tue..calorie calculator or pape jela..mesti jumpe punye..kat calori calculator tue...die siap suggestkn utk korang nak kne makan berapa kcal sehari...

waaa!!!!!lupe la!!!!da new year..aku nyer umo da jadik 25!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hahahahahahahahahaha... bongekla..cmne leh lupe.....sedar2 mase cari link utk korang la...huhuhu,,,jap..

ok2stop iklan xberbayar..lets fokus..

ok2 mule2 kan..nak loss weight..sometime ko kne ade target weight..according to bmi...kire kat intenet gak..
ok..nie..cara manual..

Yang nie formula korang kena tekan2 calculator la..

yang nie aku kire gune internet terus dpt result..

yang nie..korang tgk aku punyer berat overweight kan..so kena turun la..korang boleh kire sendiri..aku kira2 berat aku..kena turun dlm 20 kg...cmne..aku kire?? 62.6- 41.6(lowest berat aku yg ideal) = 21kg la kne cutt off..banyak kan???!!!! tapi penah tak korang tgk..die kurus..tp body die cam..cengkung gitu..ha..so..aku kire bmi according to body frame jugak...

yang nie gune internet jgk..

sbb aku nyer body frame tue large...so..berat aku yang buat body aku nampak cantik..adalah dalm lingkungan 50-55 kg..camne nak decide body frame?? korang try cekau atau ukur guna jari kanan..ukur kat pergelangan tangan kiri korang...tgk..kalu die punye jari tgk lebih or bertindih antara jari antoo dgn ibu jari..tu frame die kecik...kalu die nyer jari cam kena2 sentoh die punye hujung ngan hjung..so medium...kalu cam aku..xkena pun ibu jari ngan jari antoo..so..die..besar..tp aku nyer jari cam ketot gitu..so aku xtaw r btol ke tak..tapi xsalah cube dulu..kan..ok...abis bab bmi..

so..conclusionnye..bmi aku ideal berat mesti range 41.6-56.3.. tapi utk body yg chantek...cam chantek jer..cam chumill jer...hahahaha..adalah...50-55kg..

nie entri bmi dah la..bkak entri lain plak..mlas nak cmpor2..cam buruk plak n seraboot...

aku konvo 2 kali.....

hahahahaha..sambungan balik..

disebabkan aku xsempat nak tgkap gmbar hari aku konvo..sbb mlm tue ade dinner la apela..bagai..aku tak g pon..sbab..mama ajak aku dan dia pg mkn kat lain..so..aku g balik u keesokkan harinya..n g ambik gmbar puas2...

nie semua member2 Sarjana Muda Sains Kimia dan Persekitaran aku wase...ade gak member aku lost..iaitu..izah marzilaini..aku dtg sebab die..tp die lost..but anyway..got org lain..PIK and EL..

dorang nie kalu keje...beribu3 gaji..ha...org alam sekitar kan..

nie gambar aku ngan pik..

org ramai kat blkg..xleh nak wat ape dah..takkan nak halau plak..so..untuk menampakkan suasane konvo la sangat..aku terpaksa mengalah..huhuhu

el..nie..aku pon ko nak gigit..=_="

ha..nie la el...die punye bunga matahari..bunga aku pgg tue die punye gak..nie kan hari ke dua...aku punye bunga da kat umah..sunflower nie..die punye sunshine bagi...aku xtaw ape sebab..tp aku tetap suke roses..

nie la sunshine el...

coolnye bergambar..ngan air2 skali masok..xsempat nak letak dulu kan..hahahaha..sorry yep am..

sitek..aku..ayie..ayen..

ha..nie si sitek..die cntek kan arinie..kalu tak..die la tomboinye dlm umah sewa aku..ketua rumah..cam ayahanda..abang long..sorg lagi dalam umah aku...not listed...huhuhu..ayie nie same kos ngan aku..pure chemistry..tp dtg gak ari ke dua..sebab ade buah hati same2 konvo..ceewaahh..bile nak nasik mnyak nye...ayen nie..bukan buah hati ayie..name hampir same..tp dorg bff jep..

nie..pic2 aku yang out of gaya..aku xpndai bergambar..sorry la beb..

nak jugak ade kenangan UMT..so tgkap la kat monumen UMT kononnye...ade lagi pic2 org lain..tp aku da xde copy..yg len ade dlm pendrive..n pendrive xtaw kemana...xleh r nak letak semua..

nie gambar aku tak tahan gelak ngan adik lelaki aku..

nie la adik lelaki aku..yang memang suke buat aku ketawa xleh blah..da xleh nak cover ayu kalo duk lepak ngan die..saiko tolla...huhuhu..amacam adik aku???hensem kan..